My first race at world champs was the team sprint with Simi, and it was the most nervous and excited I’ve been for a race in years. I was a kid that got super nervous before races, to the point of not being able to eat. I overcame that gradually as I got older and experienced more failure, and learned that failure is never the end of the world. The past couple of years I’ve actually needed to force myself to get a little nervous for racing so I’m not too complacent, which is just the opposite problem! Most of this year I’ve been able to really nail my excitement level before races, using visualization and my natural competitiveness to fuel good nervous energy.

For the team sprint I wasn’t able to totally nail my energy. I felt a lot of pressure (from myself) to perform for Simi and for our whole team, as I was incredibly proud and honored with the opportunity to race this 2-person event at worlds. During the days leading up to the race, we did a lot of team practice to work on speed and tags (which get more important in a team sprint when you have to do it 5 times). I definitely had some uncertainty, both in my ability to execute the tags, and in my sprint speed, which is huge when going against some of the best sprinters on the world cup on a fast, powerful course. These doubts in the week before the race lead to a lot of internal stress, even if I fought it as hard as I could with positive statements, old race viewing, and talking to coaches. When I got to the start line I was super hyped and excited, but to the point of not being able to relax. The energy I had fueled a few laps of really good pack skiing, but was also a big part of me starting too soon in the tag zone, which lead to a quick brake and subsequent crash. :(

After I got up from the crash and tagged Simi, I went as hard as I could around the lap. I ended up skiing about as fast as the leaders, but closed no time, and knew I tagged him too far out to go through as a lucky loser. (I will point out that the front group could’ve all crashed, giving us a way through to the final, so I’m glad we both skied stupid hard last laps.) I was disappointed in myself for being too jumpy, and ruining our chances of a really good day with a stupid mistake. I felt like I let down Simi and my other teammates that could’ve raced. After so long looking forward to and focusing on this race, it was so hard to see our chances in the final hit the snow like that. HOWEVER, we have an amazing team, and the understanding support I received after the race was vital in my ability to continue with the championships. As much as Simi was disappointed in his last big team sprint, he was adamant that this stuff happens in races and that the result that day was not the make or break to his day, season, or career that I felt like it could be. It shows how much he cares about the team around him, and that leading means teaching and understanding, even when it’s time to execute, not necessarily learn. I still obviously made a mistake, and I’m glad everyone acknowledged that, and didn’t sugarcoat the actual event; but, I’m also glad they didn’t want me to beat myself up over it. Here’s to hoping I never make that mistake again!!! And here’s to an incredibly supportive group of dudes on this team. <3

Rohrmoos Team Sprint race prep…yes we practiced tags

Skiing well in a fast-moving pack before the blunder

Couldn’t Simi look sad in one pic? Where’s the drama???

Afterwards, I knew there wasn’t anything I could do, and I needed to just focus on the 15k in a few days. It helped a lot for me to talk to Simi, Jan, Matt, my parents, and sports psych just to talk through things and think about the best way to move forward. I tried to immediately get a 15k course map printed out to look at and think about, but it was hard to not think about the team sprint going differently! I ended up just going about things normally, and it kinda worked out. In hindsight, I didn’t eat nearly enough after the team sprint, and paid for it big time in the 15k. I think the stress from before and after that first race made it hard to eat well and absorb what I did eat, so I went into the 15k feeling bloated and drained of energy.

Still having a better day than this cow? (toenail clipping)

I was a lot less nervous for the 15k because I had confidence in my ability to execute my race plan. I do a lot of 15k racing, and the interval start nature makes it pretty easy to control. On the day I was chilled in the morning and my stomach didn’t feel good, but I just blocked those feeling out because I didn’t want it to mentally impact my racing. I got to the start line fully ready to have another race like Falun, but within the first few minutes I could tell my energy and power just weren’t there. Someone told me I looked “tank empty”, and I felt like that described my race perfectly. I pushed as hard as I could through it, but ended wayyyy off where I know I can be in that event. It’s hard to stay confident after races like that, but finding a reason for it (eating), can make a big difference. This is different than making excuses because on that day I had a true physical barrier, and although it was my fault, there wasn’t anything I could do about it on race day.

The positive I took from this race was that I skied with good technique I thought.

Talking to Jan in a pretty bad mood! The guy is good at being both positive and realistic which is helpful.

The low-energy feeling is one that I’ve felt a little bit in training, but not on such an extreme scale as in that race. In the race I was just like “what’s happening to me?!” and after I finished I was basically like “ohhhh…yea, maybe I wasn’t fueled”. It’s a pretty distinct feeling, and not one you want to have in a race! The takeaways for me were that I need to notice when I’m getting super nervous, and address it; and, when I get nervous, excited, or bummed, I need to make sure I still have some attention on nutrition.

The relay 2 days after the 15k went a lot better! I was a little reserved about being on that team, with how bad I felt in the 15k, but I thought if I was able to absorb some food I’d be much better off. The good news is that I was much better! That morning I didn’t have any stomach pain, wasn't chilled at all, and had solid energy in my warm up (although it was slow as sand in the new snow). I started the anchor leg with Germany, Canada, and Czech, skied the first lap controlled behind them, then pushed the second lap and dropped Canada and Czech. On the last lap I lead and tried to hold the German back until the last couple KMs, but a little too much leading and his strong climbing gave him an advantage. I didn’t really care that much about that gap though, because it was amazing to actually feel like I had strength and control again in a race. Full 180 from the last race, and I skied the 4th-fastest anchor leg, under 1 minute behind Bolshunov in a 30-ish minute 10k!

My last race at world champs was my very first 50k. 8 laps of a 6.25k loop, including some massive climbs. I actually was the least nervous for this race of my 4 starts, even though a world champs 50k seems like a pretty daunting task. I was so focused on my feeding and ski exchange that I didn’t get very caught up in the actual result. I got the good race feeling at the end, just because I finished it with reasonable levels of attack. I was super tired, but was able to race the whole thing, and not just survive. The first 3 laps were really good for me, I was doing a good job staying forward in the pack to avoid big accordions, and wasn’t using too much energy being frantic. One tight climb on the 4th lap I lost a pole basket, unfortunately, and dropped through the pack trying to get a new pole. I wasn’t too stressed about it because I knew it was a long race, but right when I got a replacement pole and was slightly off the back of the pack, Niskanen pushed up the big climb, and I wasn’t able to reattach to the pack. It was basically just super bad timing, and the energy I would’ve expended trying to move back up probably would’ve costed me more in the end, so I was a stuck in no man’s land. Either way, I’m happy with my race, and I know I have a few more years to perfect my 50k skiing. Big shoutout to Scott and David though, for 10th and 16th place!

Shoulda just followed him! (note the matching pole tips back there :)

As a full week, I’m absolutely disappointed with my racing at world champs. I know it’s my first one, and I only made a couple big mistakes, but I’m still bummed because I know if I had executed perfectly, in a way that I’ve executed before, I could’ve done much better. BUT that’s racing, and life, and I learned a few big things that I can remember for the future. Outside of racing, I had a great week. We had a good team bubble, occupying an entire small hotel, and I got to spend a lot of quality time with friends and teammates. I also took a math test the night after the 15k, and it went really well. I studied for it, and it worked! We enjoyed some good weather and some bad weather, and played a lot of Catan. Now we’re in the Engadin Valley for the last races of the season, a classic 15k mass start and a skate 50k pursuit on the iconic Engadin Marathon course.

Crazy drive over Switzerland to Engadin!

Pretty crazy that we get to see places like this

Testing some classics with Karel. This guy, and all of our wax staff worked so hard last week (they always do) and did a great job in some incredibly difficult conditions. I am very thankful that they are so committed and competent. Thanks guys!

One more weekend!! I’m so excited to go home. Maybe a whole blog post for everything I missed?